


The Paradox of the Ship of Theseus

by Catory



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 07:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12978717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catory/pseuds/Catory
Summary: (Set between Episode 40 and 41.)Parad asks Kiriya about mortality. He doesn't get an answer he understands, even after everything that's happened.





	The Paradox of the Ship of Theseus

Parad fiddles with his game system. Well. To be fair, it's not _his_ game system, it's Emu's. But Emu is him and he is Emu, right? So technically, it's his now. Parad's eyes flicker across the screen, intent on the grid of puzzle pieces. If he moves that red piece through this row like this, and then like that, then he can get— yes! 10x combo after skyfall. In a flashy, stylized, pixel animation, the stage is cleared. Parad starts on the next.

"Oi, have you really just been just sitting there playing games this entire time?"

Parad looks up at the voice. It's the coroner. Kujo Kiriya.

"Seriously, you're gonna get a sore neck if you keep sitting like that, you know?" He leans against the wall as he speaks. Parad notices a thick stack of papers in his hands. Has he been working this whole time?

Parad moves his game console closer to his face, and affects a bored tone. "Oh. It's Kiriya, right? What do you want?"

"Where's Emu?"

"He's out. There was some man in a suit who wanted to talk to him."

"Eh? Aw, come on, that's not helpful…" Kiriya sighs and runs his free hand through his hair. "Just when I needed him too. Jeez."

Parado's curious despite himself. "Is this about Cronus' reset power? Have you and Kuroto found a way to stop it?"

Kiriya snorts. "Ha! I wish. We're trying, but between this and recoding Hyper Muteki from scratch… we're definitely gonna need Emu's help for this on the VR console. At the rate we're moving, Cronus could probably just wait for us to die of old age before we finish." Kiriya thinks about it for a second. "That is, if bugsters die of old age. Huh. Wonder what the average natural lifespan of a bugster is… that could be interesting to research when this is all over."

Parad flinches despite himself. "Don't talk about death so casually." He mutters under his breath.

Kiriya looks down at him. "Eh?"

"How can you be so— so—" Parad's breath hitches. His hands are shaking again, and he squeezes the sides of the game console so hard his knuckles turn white. "You've died before too, haven't you? How can you stand it? Knowing that you're going to die. Knowing what death is like. It's so… you can't beat death at a game. You can't win against death and that's the scariest thing I've every known so how do you _joke_ about it?"

Kiriya stares at him for a second, before walking over. He sinks into the couch next to Parad and smiles mirthlessly. "I mean… I'm a coroner. Was a coroner, I guess. Death's part of the job, it's not like I can ignore the fact that it happens. Might make things a bit difficult, if I did." He sighs and looks up at the ceiling. "Everyone dies. Some die naturally, some die before their time, some die—" he glances sideways at Parad "— playing a game, because some lunatic out there thought that kind of stakes would make it more _fun_."

Parad bristles. Emu and Poppy have stuck pretty close to his side throughout his reintroduction to the rest of the doctors, and Parad is now horribly aware of the lack of buffer, even as he defends himself. (Even if he knows what it means to die, now.) "The players aren't dead. Their data is stored on the Proto Gashats. Everyone who died during the game is still alive and can be brought back—"

"—as a Bugster? Sure, I'll give you that. But that doesn’t change the fact that we died, you know. Death changes you. Even if you can come back afterwards… can you still say that you're the same person?" Kiriya crosses his arms. "Have you ever heard of the Ship of Theseus?"

"…is that a game?"

"Shoulda figured you would say that. No, the Ship of Theseus is a question. Ehhhh, how do I say this… Basically, it asks that if you have a ship, and you replace every part of it, every board and nail, then… is it still the same ship?"

Parad hesitates, but another voice cuts in before he can answer.

"What a _stupid question,_ of course it is."

Parad looks up sharply, and Kiriya narrows his eyes. Kuroto is sauntering up the stairwell like he thinks he owns the place. He walks over, slowly, and places both hands on the table in front of him. "With my unparalleled genius, it is possible to perfectly encapsulate all the important parts of the human mind into a packet of data! Personality. Memory. Even physical bodies! By this metric, no human lives have been lost to Kamen Rider Chronicle, as of yet." He smiles. "Not even you or I count as casualties, hm? Kiriya."

Kiriya stands up so fast that his papers fall off the couch. "Oi. You don't get to say that there were no casualties. What about Zero Day then?"

"Well, that was a beta, after all. Minor errors were to be expected." Kuroto makes a show of thinking very hard, still smiling mockingly all the while. "Oh wait, I know why you're so angry."

Kuroto circles the table, slowly. "I looked it up on a whim a few days ago. Your friend had game disease, yes? A pity about the accident, really. If you'd just kept your mouth shut, then even if he'd been taken over as a bugster, I could have revived him. But even as great as I naturally am, it would be impossible to bring him back now."

Kiriya grabs him by the collar. "You _asshole_. You shouldn't toy with these things so casually! Nobody should have the power to bring the dead back!"

"So are you saying that you should be dead, then?" Kuroto scoffs.

"What makes you think we're alive?!"

"What?" Parad can't help but speak up. "You _are_ alive. You're a bugster, and… we're alive."

Kiriya doesn't break eye contact with Kuroto, even as he answers Parad. "Yeah. I'm alive. But Kiriya's dead."

Kuroto scoffs. "Don't be ridiculous—"

"Kujo Kiriya died on Christmas of last year! Dan Kuroto followed him a few months later! We're just remnants of those people that are too stupid to let go! We're dead men walking, Kuroto, we were never meant to come back!"

"Then die again." Kuroto says it so matter-of-factly that Parad doesn't even register his words until a heartbeat later. "All we need to beat Cronus and Gamdeus is my Hyper Muteki. If you think that you shouldn't be alive, then what's stopping you?"

"Damn you, you know why! I'm alive, and I'm not exactly happy about that, but what's the point of dying worthlessly?" Kiriya shoves him so hard that he stumbles a few steps back. "Everyone dies sometime. When I do, I'm going to make sure it means something, just like I did last time."

Kuroto opens his mouth like he's going to reply again when Poppy bursts into the room. "Hey, Parad— huh? Why are all of you in here?" She looks around in confusion. "Eeeeeeeh, don't tell you you guys have been fighting! We've got more important things to do! Come on, Parad, we have to go find Graphite! Emu's counting on our help! Let's go, let's go!"

As Poppy ushers him out of the room, Parad spares one look backwards at Kiriya and Kuroto standing in the room.

_"Everyone dies sometime. When I do, I'm going to make sure it means something, just like I did last time."_

He still doesn't _get_ it. How can Kiriya talk about death like that? Of all the people who could have understood how terrible it was to die…

Parad clenches his hands. What did Kiriya know about death that he didn't? A death that meant something… what did that _mean_?

"Ne, Parad, are you alright? You seem kind of down… Did they say anything mean to you? I'll beat them up if they did!" Poppy rests one hand on his sleeve in concern.

Parad shakes his head slightly. No, now's not the time to worry about that. They have to beat Cronus first. And after that…

He'll have all the time in the world to think after Cronus is defeated.


End file.
